I've been asked a lot about how we got the name Henry, especially because we were not far enough along to find out the gender. This story is one that I will never forget and one that I hold special to my heart.
From the moment that I found out I was pregnant, I found myself calling the baby "him" or using "he" or "his". I have no idea why. We talked about wanting to have a boy first, but would've been ecstatic to have a girl or a boy. I felt as that I just KNEW this baby was a boy. Maybe it was a motherly instinct, maybe it was nothing, but I held on to what I was feeling.
We first started out calling our baby "Baby Squish", but Josh would come home and call the baby random names like "Bob" or "Kevin". "How is mommy and baby Kevin doing today?" Josh always likes to keep the mood light and make me laugh. So this wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But one day....something pretty incredible happened.
Since I was pregnant, I wanted to spend time with my mom as much as I could. She usually has Wednesday's off so when that next Wednesday came along and we both didn't have to work...I took full advantage of that. We were driving around running errands and she simply brought up the subject of names. If we have talked about it before, what we were thinking, if we liked any names...the usual. After she asked I replied with, "I really like old-fashion names kind of like...Henry!" I never thought we would actually name our baby Henry, but it was the first name that popped into my head. My mom loved the name, but I told her I was worried because I didn't think Josh would like any of the names that I liked.
Fast forward to the end of the day and I'm sitting on the couch alone, waiting for Josh to get home from work. Everything was the same that day. He pulled into the driveway, the dogs were barking, and of course he came in right away to see how I was doing. Josh works with for a contracting business and he is very busy. We don't get to talk much or at all during the day so we had no contact during that day, which wasn't abnormal. He walks in and immediately says, "How is mama and baby Henry doing this evening?". My jaw dropped. How could he have EVER known that I had said the name Henry earlier that day? At the time I just laughed it off and thought it was cool that we both said the same name, but that's when I was still pregnant.
A few days later, we were in the ER and that's when we found out. A miscarriage. The worst of our fears were happening and all I remember was feeling as though everything in my life stopped, but the world kept turning. I was so lost. I couldn't get a grip on what was actually happening until the doctor took my hand, looked me in the eyes, and simply said, "You're having a miscarriage." We did everything we had to do. It took a long time to get out of the hospital because of all the testing they did, but we eventually left. Josh left the room early to go start the truck and pulled up to the front so I didn't have to walk in the cold, while I was finishing up in the exam room. Josh had called both our mother's already letting them know what happened. He invited my mom over knowing I needed her.
We cried the whole way home. We got home and cried some more. My mom got there and we all cried. We sat on the couch for a few hours talking about everything when my mom brought something up that we had both forgotten. We forgot that we both said the name Henry on the same day. Remembering this brought a whole new wave of tears as we all realized at the same time that our baby's name was Henry. No, we didn't know the gender and even if we got to know the gender now, I don't think I would want to know. Having that feeling that we were having a boy, saying the same name the same day, and after losing him... I finally felt a little bit of peace knowing our baby had a name. I felt like he was officially our because he finally had a name.
And that's the story of how Henry became, well, Henry! His full name is Henry Jack Evavold. The middle name Jack comes from Josh's younger brother, Jack, who we love dearly. Josh and Jack are very close. Jack is a miracle in every way possible and someone we would have wanted Henry to learn from, look up to, take after....and I still think in a way that he has done all of that, even if it is in Heaven.
For me, naming our child brought me a sense of peace, a sense of knowing who he was or would be, a sense of motherhood. Naming the child you lost may not be for you and I want you to know that that is okay. More than okay. Do what feels natural to you and do what YOU and your partner need to do. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
-All our love,
Henry's Heaven Blog
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